It’s 2:30pm, and you just watched your hygienist snap at a patient over something minor. You know exactly what happened—she skipped lunch, and now she’s running on caffeine and frustration. You need to address this, but should you pull her aside right now while she’s clearly hangry?
Absolutely not.
You might be 100% right about what needs to be said. You might be totally justified in giving feedback. But here’s what great leaders understand: People can’t receive what they’re not equipped to handle. Before you deliver feedback, pause and really look at your team member. Where are they right now? Are they:
• Hungry? Running on empty because they skipped breakfast and it’s almost lunch?If any of these apply, HALT. This isn’t about your message; it’s about their capacity to receive it.
That hygienist who snapped at the patient? She’s probably already beating herself up about it. Approaching her while she’s in survival mode doesn’t help anyone—it just adds pressure when she’s already overwhelmed. But tomorrow morning, after she’s had breakfast and a good night’s sleep? That’s when she has the emotional bandwidth to hear you, process what happened, and
actually make changes.
Leadership requires communication, and real communication happens when both people are present and ready. Sometimes the most compassionate thing you can do is wait.
Next time you’re ready to give feedback, pause and ask yourself: "Is this person in a place to receive this right now?" If they’re hungry, angry, lonely, or tired, HALT. Not because your message isn’t important, but because they are.