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917: Talk Like a Leader – Miranda Beeson

How you communicate will make or break your practice. In this episode, Kirk Behrendt brings back Miranda Beeson, ACT’s director of education, to break down the DiSC framework to help you better understand yourself and your team so you can improve communication and harmony in your practice. To take the first step to optimize your leadership style, listen to Episode 917 of The Best Practices Show!

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Episode Resources:

Main Takeaways:

  • Understanding your team isn't optional! It’s the foundation of trust.
  • Study the four DiSC styles to effectively communicate and reduce conflict.
  • DiSC is not about labeling people. It’s about connection and understanding.
  • Knowing everyone’s DiSC styles removes misunderstandings and bad narratives.
  • By understanding yourself and others, you can adapt how you speak to be heard.
  • No one style is better than another. A little bit of everything creates a good balance.

Quotes:

“Usually, if there's a breakdown in communication, it’s really just a matter of, we naturally behave and communicate a little bit differently. If we can understand ourselves and understand each other, we can bridge that gap and meet each other at a place of understanding. When we do that in the dental practice, it helps us to improve the patient experience, and it helps us to improve the team dynamics.” (4:02—4:26) -Miranda

“The framework of DiSC and being able to compartmentalize the different ways in which your team members communicate, it’s really powerful for you to be able to understand where they're coming from and then try to meet them where they are, and vice versa. This can also work the other way, where your team can learn more about you as a leader and how you prefer to be communicated with or what your communication style is so that they don't misinterpret and misunderstand things that you say.” (4:26—4:56) -Miranda

“If I could go back and do one thing over again, it would've been to embrace the journey of self-awareness earlier in my career because I spent thousands and thousands of hours, if not thousands of days, trying to fix my weaknesses, not understanding who I was. Also . . . learning who other people are would’ve saved me a lot of conflict.” (5:56—6:24) -Kirk

“The important thing to remember about DiSC is it's not a label. It's not an end-all be-all. We are deep, complex, emotional human beings. So, I use that word “observable” because we can't see those deeper emotional intelligence pieces or what motivates us. This is purely what we can see and perceive from the outside. So, you can't put a label and say someone is a this or a that, and that's just what it is. But it is a really great key and tool to be able to understand the basics of this person's decision-making and the way in which they're going to engage and communicate with other people. When we communicate properly, it's going to build trust. But if we don't, we can erode trust really quickly — faster, actually, than we can build it on the other side. So, it’s really important to connect so that you can lead confidently no matter the style of team member that you have.” (7:42—8:41) -Miranda

“I was trying so hard to get people to do what I wanted them to do or be like me in some respects. Now, I realize that was terrible.” (9:27—9:37) -Kirk

“Everybody has their own tendencies. Which, if it's not like you, you might perceive as a less-than-ideal trait. But those are their superpowers and their strengths. So, that's another key point to point out is that there is no style that's better than another, and there is no style that should primarily build your team. You need a little bit of everything.” (9:53—10:17) -Miranda

“D in DiSC stands for dominance, or what I like to say is “direct” because I am a D, primarily, in my personality style and “dominant” feels a little bit harsh for me. I believe that you can be direct and polite, so I like using the word direct for D instead. But interestingly enough, for the more direct or dominant style communicators, it's only three percent of the population. So, for those of us that sit in that D realm, we have a really high sense of urgency. We tend to be pretty fast-paced, a little more bold, and a little more confident. I always say you always know where you stand with a D. They're not playing games. Everything is very clear and right to the point. So, only three percent of the population. Which, interestingly enough, makes sense if you start thinking about like, who are D’s? They're generally people in leadership positions. They're generally executives, people in a place of authority. If you look at an organization, there's usually one or two people that sit in that place of authority, and then a whole slew of people within the organization that fill the other pieces. So, if we think statistically of that person at the top of the org chart, that person who likes to be challenged and likes to drive challenge, that's going to be your D.” (10:19—11:38) -Miranda

“The I is an influencer. So, this is a people person. An I is someone who is very charismatic and social. They gain energy from being a part of groups and connecting with others. They want to feel like they're part of something. They bring energy and tend to be pretty enthusiastic, so they're going to also be fast-paced and have a sense of urgency. But while the D tends to be a bit more logical and direct, an I is more emotional. So, D's tend to be more topic-driven or logic-driven, and I's tend to be more people-driven or emotionally driven. Another way to think about that is, a D you might say, ‘What do you think about this?’ With an I, you might say, ‘How do you feel about this?’ because the way in which they're going to make that decision differs.” (11:51—12:43) -Miranda

“With a D, under a lot of stress, under a lot of pressure, or misperceived, can be impatient, short, or sometimes even aggressive. A D can be perceived as not caring or cold. With an I, if under a lot of stress, under a lot of pressure — you just mentioned your papers everywhere and everything else. I’s will get pretty disorganized. People might use the word “flaky” sometimes to describe an I when they're under a lot of stress. Sometimes, they even do get a little selfish because they start to look inward a little bit more than outward, which is the exact opposite of what might happen with an S.” (15:50—16:30) -Miranda

“An S means steady. These are 69% of the population. So, most people in the entire world, much less your practice or your team, are going to be an S-style communicator, a steady communicator. What that means is they like harmony. They like consistency. Change is their greatest fear, especially spontaneous change and a lot of change over a short period of time. They tend to bring a lot of reliability. They are very trusting, and they need trust in order to feel safe. These are your very reserved, stable, calm individuals. They're going to sacrifice their own selves first for the sake of other people. So, when I mentioned an I under stress might get a little selfish, an S under stress is going to go the other way. An S can often give too much of themselves, be too generous, and too accommodating, at their own expense. The other thing around an S is they can shut down because they get overwhelmed by too much too fast. Again, when we talked about pace, an S is going to be a lot slower paced and not have that same sense of urgency that a D or an I might have . . .They might have a slower pace. You might need to talk quieter and present your ideas in a slower, more moderate fashion than you do with a D or an I who can take it.” (16:32—18:09) -Miranda

“C’s are conscientious, and that's what the C stands for. Seventeen percent of the population are C’s. C-styles are very detail-oriented, also thinking from that logical side of the brain. They're more of the task-oriented, ‘What do you think about that?’ style of people. S’s lean more into the, ‘How do you feel about that?’ emotional decision-makers. Our C’s tend to be very analytical. Precision is very important. They do not like sloppy, and they do not like when you're not prepared. I often say if you have a C-style patient, don't say, ‘I don't know.’ Tell them, ‘I don't know, and I will find out.’ Don't wing it . . . If you make an answer up with a C and they find out later it wasn't the truth, you've lost trust with them.” (18:14—19:04) -Miranda

“The majority of your team members, by way of stats in our overall population, are going to be S's. If you stop and think about what we do, healthcare, we're taking care of other people. It's even more likely that our team members are going to be primarily S's because those are the nurturing, caring, calm, helpful people naturally, so they gravitate towards healthcare. So, most practices end up with predominantly S's, sprinkled in with some I's. Clinicians lean into the C, especially doctors and specialty doctors, because of the amount of perfectionism that has to take place. A lot of practices have no one with a D-style, or maybe one outlier. Very occasionally do you have multiple, unless your team is quite large. When we work with coaching clients, we actually map out the whole team. We do a DiSC assessment for literally everyone, and we map it out so that everybody can see where everybody lands. Quite often, there is nobody up in that D realm. And statistically, it makes sense. However, occasionally, there's one or maybe two that sit up there in that D space, which can be great because you do have to have somebody who's pushing things along from time to time.” (20:19—21:44) -Miranda

“When we say “talk like a leader”, it's not the words that you say that we're really referring to. It's more the context of understanding how those words might land for the person that you're speaking to. So, not changing who you are, but when you know who you are, and you know who you're speaking to, and what those communication preferences are or what those communication gaps might be, you're able to adapt and modify your delivery in a way so that it lands better.” (22:56—23:30) -Miranda

“It's not always natural, and that's okay. Like, if you feel like you're having to stretch a lot to really connect with a particular person or a few people on your team, that's okay. That's probably relative to your natural communication styles.” (28:11—28:27) -Miranda

“You can't expect yourself out of other people. I heard that quote one time, and I loved it. You can't expect yourself out of others. So, if you're that C-style leader and you have this I-style patient care coordinator, awesome for the role that she's in, but you can't seem to connect, and you're looking at her thinking like, ‘Oh my gosh, she's so disorganized. All she cares about is having fun and chit-chatting with everyone. Is she even getting anything done that's part of her job description?’ because we're a C-style and we're working from a process. So, it's really simple to have a checklist. At the end of the day, that I-style patient care coordinator has checked the six boxes, ‘Yes, I called all of the hygiene re-care patients today. Yes, I made sure that everyone's health histories were updated into the practice management software. Yes, I followed up with so-and-so that you asked me to call about the referral.’ Now you can, as the C-style leader, feel confident that their personality is shining, the way in which they communicate is a strength, and they are still following through with the tasks, systems, and processes that are important for you, to feel really confident are happening. You don't have to be discouraged by or feel conflict about the way in which that person engages, even if it's not like how you engage.” (30:11—31:37) -Miranda

“If you have a D-style team member or team members, remember that they're fast-paced. Remember that they're results-focused. They tend to be pretty confident. ‘Here's the result we need. Here's how you can take the lead.’ They really like the sense of control and authority of being able to take charge of a project. So, when you're talking to a D-style, you want to get to the point as much as possible. Avoid small talk. Same thing with emails. A nice bulleted, clean email is great. We don't need all of the fluff at the front and back end of it. Focus on goals and outcomes and solutions, and let them have some autonomy in those decisions. When you micromanage a D, you're going to run them off really fast. They want control, and they want to feel like they're in a position of authority. So, work with them to say, ‘I know this is important to you. I want to be able to provide this for you. Here's the expectation,’ and let them run. You will have to audit, and make sure you hold them accountable, and that they are doing the right thing. But being direct in that feedback is really important. They appreciate directness.” (34:06—35:14) -Miranda

“If you're a leader and you're not someone who gives direct feedback well because maybe you sit in that S realm or the I realm where you want everyone to like you, and you have a really strong team member who's a D, if you're not challenging them or providing feedback, they may say, ‘I'm going to go find somewhere that challenges me and provides me feedback,’ because they crave it.” (35:38—35:59) -Miranda

“Your I team members are enthusiastic, social, and idea-driven, a lot of times. They tend to be a bit more creative. They bring great energy. Acknowledging that and praising them for that is really awesome. When you're talking to an I team member, start with positive energy and recognition. They definitely like to be acknowledged and recognized. A lot of them don't mind that publicly either. If you call them out or celebrate something they've done well in front of the whole team, they feel really good about it.” (37:23—37:50) -Miranda

“Be clear with what the next steps are because we mentioned disorganization. I’s can get a little off track with managing details, so having things in writing can be great, and making sure there are very clear next steps. So, at the very end, ‘Here's what I need from you,’ so that it doesn't get lost in the mix of the grander conversation. Using stories or analogies is great to connect. Same with patients. Using testimonials or other patients' experiences is great to connect with an I-style patient and allow time for them to also be heard. Remember me mentioning my patient care coordinator. She needed that space to be heard and connect and feel like we had a connection. So, you’ve got to give them that space.” (37:55—38:38) -Miranda

“With an S, you want to speak calmly. You want to provide reassurance. Avoid putting them on the spot, especially in front of others. You and I talked about speaking. If I'm doing a call on the tables, maybe we did a workshop and I want to hear what happened, I can usually gauge by body language who an S or a C style is versus a D or an I. I'm going to go find a D or an I to call on first because that's going to give the S’s and the C’s time to think and come around to their response. If you start with an S, they're going to be stunted, almost, because they don't like that surprise factor.” (40:37—41:14) -Miranda

“[With an S], you always want to make sure that you emphasize teamwork, emphasize support, and collaboration. It's a very collaborative communication style, and giving them time to process change or new things or new decisions, and appreciating them and their loyalty and consistency. I think that the time to process new things and changes is important because a lot of dental providers do introduce innovative technologies or processes into the practice. If you do that too quickly, too often, and you have a large population of S or C-style team members, it's going to be a lot harder to integrate those changes because they feel very overwhelmed. They want to make sure that they get it fully integrated before the next thing.” (41:15—42:02) -Miranda

“[S-styles are] really agreeable, really accommodating. They don't want to rock the boat or disappoint you, so they're not always going to be as honest and forthright about how they actually feel about something or what's going on simply to keep the peace. So, creating a healthy, trusting space where you can open the door for them to be really honest and they can start to trust that when I'm open and honest about how I feel, it lands well and it doesn't create a gap in our friendship, our relationship — because that's what they really want to avoid, is any follow-up discomfort to maybe saying this thing to you that they think might be of conflict. If it creates a crevice in our relationship, they're not going to go there. So, over time, you can really start to build trust, especially with those one-on-one opportunities to show that, ‘You can be honest with me. You can share what you're thinking and what you're feeling with me. I'm going to take care of that, and we're going to still be okay.’” (43:07—44:01) -Miranda

“C-style, our conscientious team members, can get stuck in a little bit of analysis paralysis if we don't keep them moving along. So, remember your C-styles are detail-oriented, logical, and systems-focused. ‘Here's the data. Here's why,’ giving them a little ownership over making change to systems or processes because they're going to think about them in a very detailed way and poke holes.” (44:04—44:33) -Miranda

“When you're talking to C-styles, remember to be clear and be prepared. Facts are really important. Facts over feelings. Avoid emotional or vague language. Give them time to analyze or ask questions. If you're introducing something new, it might be, ‘Hey, go think on this for 24 hours. I want you to come back with a list of questions,’ giving them the space to really process. They're processors, and they need that time. Respect their need for accuracy and structure, and don't surprise them. Be very open and honest. If there is change, why are we doing it? Make a plan for how we're going to do it versus just shooting from the hip. It's going to land a lot better for a C-style team member.” (45:04—45:52) -Miranda

“Every team I work with in coaching, we develop a user manual. Basically, it's like, what's the instruction manual for communicating with me? What's Miranda's user manual? How might I be misunderstood? What types of things are my pet peeves when I see or feel them in other people? And if you do end up in conflict, it's so easy to open that up and say like, ‘Oh, I don't think that they meant anything by that. This is just how they communicate, and it's different than me.” (47:20—47:45) -Miranda

“Understanding people, understanding your team, it's not optional. If you're leading a team — you are exactly right that you're not going to ever hit your goals. All of those financial things like, ‘I want to hit this in production. I want to do this production per day,’ it's not going to work if you don't have a healthy culture, and you don't have strong trust amongst your team, and you don't have solid communication. So, to me, understanding the people that serve you and that you serve, it's not an option. It's a foundation of building trust in your practice, and your leadership is going to elevate when you start to understand your team. And ultimately, probably most importantly, first understanding your own self so that you can manage and regulate your own communication style and adapt it to where everybody else is. Then, you're able to connect and make those small shifts that really make big changes in the practice over time and prevent turnover, which everybody wants to try to do.” (47:49—48:49) -Miranda

Snippets:

0:00 Introduction.

2:59 Why this is an important topic.

6:35 DiSC, explained.

19:05 Statistics on style population size.

22:29 What it means to “talk like a leader”.

33:48 Considerations for talking to D-styles (Dominance).

37:20 Considerations for talking to I-styles (Influence).

39:51 Considerations for talking to S-styles (Steadiness).

44:02 Considerations for talking to C-styles (Conscientiousness).

47:13 Final thoughts.

49:33 ACT’s BPA.

Miranda Beeson, MS, BSDH Bio:

Miranda Beeson has over 25 years of clinical dental hygiene, front office, practice administration, and speaking experience. She is enthusiastic about communication and loves helping others find the power that words can bring to their patient interactions and practice dynamics. As a Lead Practice Coach, she is driven to create opportunities to find value in experiences and cultivate new approaches.

Miranda graduated from Old Dominion University, and enjoys spending time with her husband, Chuck, and her children, Trent, Mallory, and Cassidy. Family time is the best time, and is often spent on a golf course, a volleyball court, or spending the day boating at the beach.
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